It's been a long time since I've posted....not sure if blogging has become obsolete, but mainly time has passed very quickly with life producing a lot of lemonade vs throwing lemons. I think I've been through enough heartache over the years, that I feel much better prepared to handle curve balls thrown my way. First the lemonade....
Our adoption of our 2nd daughter......it had been the most incredible and faith building journey for us. The lesson I got is to trust in our Heavenly Father in all might and soul as he knows what path he has carved for you. It was a lesson on Faith because even in adoption...there are no guarantees. In the end...we were given the greatest blessing...to be parents of a newborn baby. Fast forward 14 months later...she is the best thing to have complimented our family since our first daughter who is 5 years older.
Now the lemon curve ball- we've pretty much decided that I can't physically have children...or at least it's Stinkin impossible due to my severe endometriosis. Nonetheless. ..even so and with high tech treatment...I couldn't hold a pregnancy down. So to keep my evil endometriosis at bay...I had taken birth control pills to prevent my debilitating pain. It was great for the past 3 years or so until I started having dumb hot flashes. Hot flashes are horrible and I consulted with my doc and to determine the root of these annoying hot flashes...I decided to go off them. Never in my wildest dream that this decision could be life threatening for me. Life threatening? Yes. ..life threatening. Apparently I thought I was experiencing a resurgence of vengeance from aunt flo due to being off the pill...but it turns out that this was not so. Not a thought crossed my mind to the possibility of pregnancy. ..but after last week's personal debacle of pain and passing out...Emergency room doctors said I had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy and immediately wheeled me into the Operation Room Stat as I was internally bleeding to death. With a quick blessing from my hubby and a friend from church. ..I was whisked away. In the OR...I lost 2 liters of blood. ..and a fallopian tube that had been obliterated by this ectopic pregnancy. Who knew that this would occur during infertility and pregnancy loss awareness Month. Anyway. ..all I can say...I'm blessed to be alive....to be able to hold my daughters a little tighter. However. ..I'm left to learn from this...that is why my mind is awake at 230 in the morning. I feel like I moved on...but this is like an earthquake in my life. I feel I just need to be prepared for anything...because I don't know what heavenly father has in store for me...and for our family. I was not prepared for any pregnancy. I didn't expect it. Now I guess I have to prepare just in case it happens I suppose? Sigh...anyway. I feel content with having just my 2 girls. I just don't know what's in store for our future.
