When it feels like it's just never enough.

It's been quite a week for me last week, and I'm so glad it's the beginning of a new one. When you feel you are doing good things, sometimes the ugly can come creeping in and smack you down when you least expect it.  I'm not going to expound on exactly has happened to me last week...but I will give you a small taste of what capped off my lovely week of fun.  I unfortunately couldn't go to this awesomely planned party for my niece's daughter yesterday (Saturday), and was sidelined due to illness. (I am doing better though) Emily was looking forward to going...and I had gotten her dressed for the occassion and she has been babbling about the party the previous evening.  Unfortunately... I  relented to this sucky illness....and sent her off with Daddy so they can enjoy the family gathering down in Vista.  So what to do now?  I had planned on getting a new play kitchen for Emily for awhile...and she previously was given a white plastic play kitchen that was handed down from cousins which she used all the time (And were very grateful for).....but I was eyeing a new wooden red vintage kitchen for her awhile. Well...the package arrived Friday...all in pieces carefully packed in a box....and I knew it would take a few hours to assemble with both Jason and I.....but Time is so precious for my husband...that I wanted to take that responsibility off that list...... since he sacrificed his time to drive his daughter down to the party.  Well....I told myself...."wouldn't it be nice for Emily to come home surprised with a new kitchen in her room?"  I envisioned a girl happy with excitement.  I had motivated myself I wasn't a dummy, and could put this thing together....How hard could it be?  ....it wasn't difficult LOGICALLY...but Boy do they make the darn thing TEDIOUS!  At some point, I wish I could've just used my husbands Muscles...being sick and all...I could have used that extra bit of Help. ANYWAY...fast forward and

4 HOURS LATER

I didn't let that PLAY kitchen Beat Me. That Piece #37 which I had to install hinges myself slowed me down....in addition to the not-so-convenient LEGS of the kitchen...made me feel like I was killing my rotator cuff screwing them in!  Nonetheless-  I FINALLY FINISHED JUST IN TIME for Jason and Emily's arrival and with cousin Pamela in Tow...to witness this ultimate MOMENT I dreamed in my head earlier in the day.  I figured that the 4 hours I invested in hard FINE MOTOR SKILL LABOR would evolve into witnessing something MAGICAL for my daughter as she walks into her room to see her awesome RED VINTAGE KITCHEN. (Her previous kitchen was WHITE).  I mean Envision this with me:  This Gorgeous Retro Red Kitchen...to match her little pots and pans....(Can't  you sense the excitement?) A little girl walking in a room not knowing what's waiting for her.  I seriously couldn't wait for Emily's Expression...and  to see when she walks in her room to take her first glimps of this beauty I painstakingly put together............................

Are you Ready to see her Reaction?

Pause My Playlist on the side of my blog please:

and CHECK OUT THIS "MAGICAL" MOMENT:



A photo slideshow by Smilebox

SO YEAH......
It wasn't clearly the initial reaction that I wanted to see.  But she finally warmed up and realized...wow this isn't the "White" plastic kitchen she was used to having.  And to answer Daddy's question of if she wanted to go to Grandma's house....WITHOUT a MOMENT's HESITATION...she says "YES".  OH well. C'est La Vie.  It's a new day tomorrow.

Diet? What Diet?

I know I'm NEVER going to be the" skinny Kim" that first dated Jason many full moons ago.  It's never going to happen, my metabolism says so.  I need to accept my circumstances the way they are....but also recognize, that life can be better. So..to my 2 blog readers that are out there...since my last blog post I was suppose to be on my strict diet.  Yes....I too, have succumbed to the pressure of not following through and completing the course.  But you know what....IT's OK.  Obviously, I want to enjoy the tastes of what is offered to us without feeling so restricted.  I know the importance really is about portion control.  We are cursed with having so much abundance of food in this life...that we fail to recognize when to stop.  Yet.....I just couldn't deal with the strict diet again....I felt unhappy....and somehow, I felt I was ashamed of myself partly after the lofty number that occurred on the scale post holiday season.  Despite this number, it just wasn't enough motivation for me to suffer through this crazy diet again.

So what am I going to do now?

 I just want to focus on BALANCE: Balancing my diet with foods I enjoy to eat...and balancing that with a fun activity for my heart.  My diet is about compromise.  Just compromise...a little sacrifice on my part, something agreeable for the waistline, and permission to indulge sparingly.  We'll see what happens. Some thoughts that come to my mind that who knows, may actually make sense:

• Consider Compromise....throw away the "I can't" and focus on what you have the potential to do if you try. 
• Exercise is NOT EVIL!
• I WILL have chocolate and not feel guilty
• I WILL BE HEALTHY
• I LOVE my heart...do you love yours?

I'm definitely a slightly bigger version of myself 15 years ago, but it's ok....My hubby still digs me. ;)

You know when you've had too much Holiday Sweets...

When you are experiencing CARB withdrawals!!!  Last year, I previously went on a Diet that helped me reset my metabolism.  It worked really well......I lost close to 40 lbs.....but I know I need about 15 more lbs to shed...especially after feasting on the Holiday treats and yummy goodness this past season.  Well...I'm on day 2 of this Hell Diet.....it doesn't matter if you want to lose 5, 15 or 40 lbs....the protocol is the same.....and this time around after the holidays....I'm seriously suffering from HEADACHES.  From what I've been told...this is quite normal....but it seriously strikes a chord when you read that the Body goes into carb withdrawals because it has become acclimated to consuming Bad Carbohydrates for Energy (all those cupcakes filled w/ cheesecake, cookies, cinnamon rolls...hawaiian sweet rolls...you get the point!)  From what I've read....My Body has been so use to eating so much yummy Carb-Ohs...that now that I'm attempting to go cold-turkey and start eating healthy....My body is physically having withdrawals.  I'm so irritable right now (don't even try to talk to me)....and being on a restricted diet, I have cravings, I have some hunger pains...and I'm seriously looking at our cats differently (Just a joke people....I know..that's just sick isn't it...Jason cracks up thinking one day he will come home and we've lost a pet).

SNICKERS our Siamese and Domino the Beef/Cow looking Cat

 I've told Jason that I seriously want to quit after the 1st day of this restricted diet...and I want so bad to be happy and eat whatever I want to.....and that if HE IS NOT HAPPY WITH THE WAY I LOOK....then he isn't happy that I'm his wife (Get the song choice on my playlist?).  Yes I said it...but of course Jason is just laughing about it...he's not taking me seriously....with this self-inflicted torture of Dieting. I'm speaking from dieting delirium right now....I know that if I truly stick with it honestly (like I did the first time last year), in the end I will be a lot healthier. I need to start thinking of this diet as a MOCK Emergency Preparedness for FAMINE. If I was only given so much food to eat...would I survive?  Probably..... Seriously though....once these headaches go away...it will be much easier.  Forgive me if you run into me sometime this week and I'm a little snippy....It's because I'm hungry...so watch out I might bite your finger off.  Anyway....If food hasn't been so easily accessible/available, plentiful, delicious, and a HUGE part of social customs, we wouldn't be so concerned about our waistlines.  Time to lifestyle change again and go back to learning how to eat sparingly. I have 22 more days to go...so wish me luck!